Lonely Thoughts
by Red Apples Inc
Summary: Apart of my imagination. That's all he is. Comparable to a child's night light or favorite blanket. I kept him around and he stayed around because he wanted to and because it was his job to keep me from lonely thoughts. B/E -LEMONS- later on.
1. Perface

**Preface**

How in the world did a ten year old imagine someone so gorgeous?_ Edward's lips moved down my collar bone, his cold hands glided down the naked skin of my stomach, his lips following along. I held my breath as his hands snaked their way up my shirt to my breasts. My skin was on fire and his hands felt like they had been resting in ice for hours. His tongue dashed against my navel. My moans went from soft and delicate to unattractive grunts of desperation fighting their way through pits of want and need. Two things that made no difference when it came to Edward; I wanted and I needed Edward._

Why had I imagined someone that knew exactly how to treat me? _"If I could, I'd make you breakfast in bed." Edward whispered, kissing my forehead with his rough lips. I could smell the mint that radiated off his skin and from his breath. I had created the perfect being. "What would you make me?" I asked, moving closer to his body. The feeling of the sheets beneath my bare skin was exquisite. "If you could?"_

_Edward's rough, cool lips pressed against my chest. "I'd make you waffles, eggs and some bacon and for my own pleasure I'd throw in some strawberries, chocolate and whip cream." He smirked, resting his chin against my chest. He looked adorable. I bit my lip and laughed, running a hand through his hair. _

_"Sounds amazing."_

What in the world was I thinking about when I thought about an imaginary friend? Why had I thought of prince charming? And why in the hell hadn't I throw in him out, yet?

Oh yeah, crazy little thing called love...

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_New story! Yep. I'm crazy. But I've finally got an idea... FINALLY! Review with your thoughts or if you know a good BETA. I'm horrible with dialog and I'd love to have someone read over my work. Thank you!_


	2. Chapter 1

_I'm so happy to finally be writing, with an idea, again! It's such a relief. I thought for a few moments that I'd be stuck in a hole for the rest of my life- stuck, stuck, stuck. This story isn't that original. I'm sure someone equal has had this idea. But enjoy!!! If anyone has a good beta or is a BETA please contact me.. I'm sure I'll need one. _

_So lets get this over with. I don't fucking own Twilight and if I did... I never would of sold out to hollywood like S.M. did with Twilight, New Moon and Soon-to-be Eclipse.. _

_Full summary: _Edward is Bella's imaginary friend who has been with her since she was ten. As Bella grows older and falls for Edward, Edward does the same and finds that his job...has become a lot harder- he can't leave the girl and Bella can't leave him. So when Edward proposes that Bella start dating, hoping that Bella would get over him and he could leave without causing too much pain. Only now that Edward's helped Bella find the perfect guy, he can't help but want to sabotage the relationship before it even really starts...

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Bella: Age 16**

I subconsciously sunk lower in my chair as the family continued to raise their glasses high and let out embarrassing cheers, produced by the mixture of alcohol, sports and pizza. Phil's family shot up as the team made the final touchdown of the game- winning. For the first time in my life, I watched as family embraced each other in their arms, hugging with excitement and cheer for the truest love of sports. "Super-bowl, baby!" Some hopped near my seat of the nearest couch and I let out a small screech and jumped up from my seat. Mom sent me a look of guilt, mixed with a lazy smile. Her eyes shone with excitement.

"Fun isn't it, kid?" Phil nudged my side and patted my head. My attempts at hiding my grimace were weak but Phil was too distracted by his family and friends to notice.

"Yeah," I smiled, bearing my teeth.

Much after the awkward cheers had passed and Phil's family gathered in the backyard, I stayed behind trying to catch my breath. "Cheer up, kiddo." Edward's chilly arms snaked around my waist, his cold breath in my ear. My knees felt weak. My lungs felt as if they were being crushed by the tires of a car.

Edward turned me to face him, his body towering over my own. I hated that I had imagined him tall- and now I couldn't take it back. "Hey, you made me that way," he whispered, bending to my height, running his cold fingers through my hair. I rolled my eyes and scoffed, even though I knew he had a point. He _always_ had a point. "Bells?"

"What?" I asked bitterly, crossing my arms and breaking out of his cold embrace. I immediately began to feel the heat surround me again and the blood sink down through my veins.

He jumped forward and reached out for my shoulders. He leaned close to me, his nose barely touching my own. His cold breath spread across my face, smelling freshly of minty gum. My breathing was short, my thoughts on the fact that Edward's lips were close to my own. Ed pointed at my cheek. "You've got Dorito's on your face."

"Oh." I blushed. My hand lazily brushed off my cheeks. "Is it gone?"

Edward leaned forward again and spoke, "Let me." His cold hand brushed over both my cheeks, his thumbs messaging my temples. I bit my lip to hold back a moan. "There we go," his hands let go of my cheeks. "Now go out there and enjoy." I groaned. Edward pouted, puckering a lower lip. "For me?"

"Fine," I muttered. "But only for you." I could hear Edward chuckling as I closed the screen door, peeking behind me to see his fantastic body once more- only to see him no longer. I curiously wondered where Edward went when he didn't surround his life with me. He couldn't own a house or use a friend's place, so he basically lived with me and it's not like he could date- at least not while he was my friend. I'd have to remember to ask him once he got back.

"Bella!" Phil's Mom, Maggie, yelled out. My large brown eyes watched as she raised a hand to frantically wave me over. A large grin was plastered on her wrinkled face. "Don't you look a bit bashful! Come and sit here with aunt Maggie!" I joined Maggie on the couch and laughed nervously as she tried her best to make me feel like family. "_Enjoy this... For me..."_ I could hear Edward's voice in my mind and sighed relaxing against the sun-stained cushions. I laughed as Maggie surrounded me with a comforting attention that I generally seeked from Edward nowadays. It was friendly and welcoming like Edward's comfort but also not as close. Definitely not as close. Maggie's tan hands went to my shoulders, a smile as big as the earth on her face. "So, tell aunt Maggie how your boyfriend is?" Her voice was very suggestive.

I sputtered a response. What boyfriend? I didn't have a boyfriend. I never have... "Maggie," I blushed, tucking hair behind my ear. "I'm not---." I stopped short, feeling the familar coolness wrap around me. _Edward..._

"Tell her how I'm doing, Bella." Edward whispered in my ear, sitting in the open space next to me and tucking his cold arm around my shoulder. "Go on," he smirked. "Tell her." I sucked in a large breath and turned back to Aunt Maggie, feeling ice cold, nearly frozen. I felt confused. I felt lost. My head was spinning, my breath was gone. I was trying to question Edward's motives but the words couldn't even come to mind. All I could think about was how Edward's fingers played against my skin, as if I were keys to a keyboard or piano.

I took in a large breath and smiled at Maggie. "He's good."

"Not giving you any trouble, I'd imagine," she grinned and winked, poking my nose. I sneezed and blushed as she threw her head back in laughter.

"Just the usual. You know, boys." I nudged my elbow into Edward's stomach and laughed over the noise of his uneven breath and sudden gasp.

Maggie slapped her thigh. "Boys? Oh, I know boys! Try having four around- now that's a nightmare."

We talked a bit, Edward's presence going unnoticed like usual. He chuckled along sometimes, and sometimes added his own commentary to our conversations. He made notes aloud and occasionally directed me through a conversation if I was stuck in something I wanted out of. I managed to whisper _thanks_ occasionally to my friend to which he'd reply by playing the piano on my skin, sinking his fingers into my flesh. It was his favorite thing to do when we were in the public eye. I took it as his acceptance to the occasion. I still couldn't question his boyfriend motives. It made no sense.

As the night approached, Maggie left with the rest of the family slowly. Only Phil's brothers and a few of his friends stayed around. They lit a fire in the pit on the porch and sat around, drinking their beer and laughing like maniacs as they continuously recalled high school stories. Edward stayed with me, keeping me cool from the close fire. "Thank you, Bella. For letting me join in this family fun.," he thanked. My head leaned against his shoulder. I closed my eyes and rested peacefully against his skin, wishing that this moment was real. That Edward was real. Edward's lips pressed against my hair. "I know, Bells. Same here," he whispered against my hair. I sighed. "Go to sleep, love," whispered Edward. I followed his command.

"Bella," Phil shook me awake, smiling at me. "Come on, sweets- time for bed." I sat up, realizing that Edward disappeared again.

I blindly made my way to bed, waving goodbye to the left over friends from the party and kissing my mom goodnight. I fell into bed, awake, after quickly changing into a baggy tee-shirt and a pair of boxers. I pulled my hair up and tied it in a messy bun. I stared at the ceiling, letting my mind wonder. I didn't wonder far. I always thought about Edward, and I was no where from far of that. But I couldn't help thinking about Edward's whereabouts when he wasn't by my side, petting my hair, mumbling a song to get me to sleep.

It made me anxious that he wasn't here.

In a childish comparison, Edward was my teddy bear or night light that I still had yet to get rid of. I just couldn't imagine my life without him. Ever.

"I'm right here, Bella." Edward spoke, wrapping his arm around my waist. He lay next to me, on my bed. My heart fluttered in a mix of excitement and nervousness. Sure, Edward had held me after nightmares and so on, but he had never simply cuddled with me on my bed just because he could... "Things are changing, love. I'm moving with the times."

Silence followed after that and I tried not to think about what we, if he were real, could be doing. Edward's cold breath was jagged, only meaning my thoughts were being shared with him. I preoccupied myself with the question that lingered on my mind in hopes that he would answer but silence was keen on following us so I broke out of my comfort zone and began the question, "Why- With Maggie I mean, did you have me say...What were your motives?" It was a stuttered sentence.

Edward laughed, slightly shaking the bed. "I heard her and your mother talking earlier about how you tend to keep to yourself. I wanted to see the reaction that would be produced if I had you talk about your boyfriend and the only way I could do that was to-"

"Seduce me," I whispered, tucking my head underneath Edward's chin.

I knew Edward was smiling. I could just feel his radiating smile. "I guess that's one way to put it."

"It was rude and confusing," I grumbled, pinching his side. "Please try to avoid using me as a test subject around my family."

"Of course, love." _And that nickname, quit that nickname. _"I'll keep my tests to myself." Edward's fingers gently ran through my hair. "I know you have more questions, Bella. Please, share them with me."

The next breath I took was shaking. For some reason I was nervous to ask. "Where do you...go---"

"When I'm not with you?" Edward asked, smiling and nudged my side. I giggled quietly. "I go to the _office_." He chuckled, his cold breath washing over my small body. I shivered. "I just go and take care of some paper work. You know _this_," he motioned to our connected bodies"- is still a job for me. I work to make you happy!"

I sat up and stared down at him. He casually brought his hands to my hips, settling them there. I wanted to beg and plead to god to make him real- there was so much that this moment, if he were real, could have brought on. I tried to ignore the images of a naked Edward beneath me but that proved to be harder then I had thought. Edward laughed at my thoughts, rubbing his thumbs up my arms. Hot blood stung my cheeks. "Well...what about you? Are you happy?"

Edward chuckled. "Of course I'm happy!" He sat up. His large hands cupped my cheeks and his fingers slowly began to dig through my hair. "I love making you happy... Why else do you think I'm still around for you? I'll never leave unless you ask and at that point I'll be on my hands knees, begging for you to keep me," he whispered, pulling me closer as he began to fall back. I couldn't help but notice this was the closest we had ever been. I hovered over him, he was below me. Jesus Christ! "This is so unfair, Edward."

"Why?" he whispered. His green eyes sparkled.

He moved forward and I stayed in place, feeling confusion spread from my lips, to my toes. His eyes, softer now, fluttered and he moved forward a bit. I swallowed the extra saliva in the back of my throat and lingered there. "What are you doing," I questioned in a whisper.

His eyes opened and his smile widened. His eyes drifted from my lips to my eyes. "I thought it was obvious." He smirked at me, his voice full of dark humor.

How he was going to be the death of me...

I pushed myself back against my head board, ignoring the thumping in my heart and the feeling running through my body. Edward looked up with me, leaning back until he was sitting on his knees. "What's wrong, Bella?" His voice was full of concern.

I had to ask, "Why are you still here, Edward? Most kids that have had imaginary friends don't have them anymore... Why are you still here?"

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Sorry, I wanted to publish something and this is all that could make it out! So, I hope you review and enjoy!


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